Everything has a reason in God's perfect plan
by Hawaianangelgirl
Summary: A little baby has a special assignment: help two couples to rediscover the meanning of love


Everything has a reason in God's perfect plan  
  
By Gabriela Valenzuela N.  
  
Prologue  
  
The crying of a newly born baby filled the tense air of the OR and a sigh of relief escaped from almost everyone in the room. Doctors, nurses and parents had expected the worse to happen... and so had three angels that were in a corner looking at the frantic movement around the surgery table.  
  
"It was really close, wasn't it?", Monica's question finally broke the expecting silence between them and turned to face Andrew, who was dressed in his formal angel suit ready to take the baby Home if necessary.  
  
"Yeah, it was close", he answered as he felt he could breath again. He knew he had to do what the Father asked him to do, but he was not exactly happy with the idea of taking a little baby, even if he had been born too early.  
  
"I think he will do it", Monica's voice was full of her normal enthusiasm. "He's a little but strong fighter".  
  
"Oh, yes, he is, baby", Tess told her. "But I'm afraid that our assignment was not to accompany Andrew while he waited to take that little baby Home or not". Monica felt a little ashamed about what she had said, but had to accept that Tess was right. God had made the little baby live after a hard delivery, but her assignment would not be just stay there to watch. There was another reason for her presence, there was someone else who may need an angel besides.  
  
"So, is the baby my assignment?", the Irish angel asked.  
  
"Yes, but he's not the only one. In fact, you will have to be with his parents as well", Tess explained her. She knew Monica quite well and got a little worried with the tender smile the younger angel had while looking at the baby. "You may have to make them understand that everything has a reason in God's perfect plan... even if it's hard or painful to see it".  
  
Andrew could see the concern in Tess' eyes and knew exactly that the supervisor was afraid of Monica being hurting in this assignment. She easily gave her complete heart to those she helped, even if she didn't get the same in return. He waited until his beloved friend was at the side of the baby's cradle to talk to Tess.  
  
"He's not going to make it, is he, Tess?"  
  
"No, Angel boy, he's not going to make it".  
  
"That will brake her heart", the blond angel sighed looking at Monica stroking the baby's cheeks.  
  
"She's going to need you much, Andrew".  
  
"You mean 'us'?", Andrew was puzzled at the precise remark of the older angel.  
  
"No, just you. This time I can't do much for her, I'm afraid. She will need you, that's all I know", concern was evident in Tess' voice but also a slight note of discomfort.  
  
"You can always help her, Tess. You love her so much and she loves you as well", Andrew was having a little trouble to understand why he was the only help for Monica this time.  
  
"But this time I was told to step aside and let you be with her. I don't know why or what, but you're suppose to find out something you two have been missing for a long time. Don't look at me that way, angel boy!", Tess was getting exasperated: neither she could understand the orders, nor she could explained them. "You just go and stay with her. Help her or you will have a talk with me!".  
  
"Yes, ma'am". Andrew nodded and went to meet Monica. He didn't look Adam coming to Tess' side.  
  
"They are so close to the situation that they don't realize what's happening between them", Adam's voice surprised the older angel.  
  
"And what do you think it's happening between them, Adam?", Tess was quite angry that someone else could know better than she what all this was about.  
  
"Don't you tell me you hadn't notice!", Adam was surprised but he couldn't lose the chance to tease the supervisor.  
  
"Don't try to play the smart guy with me, Adam! If you know something, you better tell me", Tess had her hands in her hips and her voice told she was clearly upset.  
  
"You're angel babies are falling in love, Tess! But obviously, you're too close to them to notice that".  
  
"What?!", both anger and surprise were present in her. "It's not possible, Adam, angels don't fall in love!". Suddenly something she believed in was being seriously questioned, and she felt it was like questioning the Father himself.  
  
"You don't have to agree with me, right now, Tess. Just look at them for some days, pay attention to what they say, the way they look at each other. It's been there for a long time, and I think He agrees. Otherwise, it wouldn't happen". Adam felt quite strange to be the one to point out such a truth to one of the most experienced angels he knew.  
  
"Oh, Father, please help me!", Adam listened the words that were a barely audible whisper in the struck face of the dark skinned angel, who suddenly catch the great love in Andrew's eyes, the open heart Monica offered him in her smile and the perfect way their fingers intertwined almost automatically when the blond angel of death met her at the side of the newly born baby.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 1  
  
A couple of hours later, Monica and Andrew stayed unseen by the nurses that were taking notes of everything, the monitors as well as the IV and the oxygen supply the little baby had everywhere around. Though they were already dressed according this assignment, in nurses' uniform and a white doctor gown, they were waiting until Jacob, the baby's father was alone to meet him.  
  
"There's so much pain in his eyes", Monica whispered.  
  
"Yes, and there's also a great fear".  
  
"But he must not be afraid, he must have faith!", the little angel suddenly felt her friend was as uncertain as Jacob was. "The baby is gonna make it, isn't he?".  
  
Andrew felt his heart plunging to the bottom of his body as he heard so much confidence in Monica's words, so he tilted her chin carefully and forced her to meet his gaze. "Monica, you know that in some cases like this the solution we think is the best is not exactly what the Father has planned".  
  
"Andrew, don't tell me you doubt His power. He can heal the most sick person in this world, why wouldn't He help a little boy?", her bright dark eyes almost melted Andrew's heart.  
  
"Angel girl", his voice was as tender as he could manage, "we don't know the Father's plan, all we know is that we have to help those parents through the hard days to come for them, whatever it happens".  
  
"Andrew, I know it. I know that it is not my will the one to be fulfilled", Monica was looking into his eyes trying to find out what she felt wasn't right in her friend's heart. She laid her right hand over his left and gave him a little squeeze. "What's happening with you?".  
  
"I just don't want to see you hurting if things don't go as you wish, Monica", Andrew stroked gently her cheek. "You know how much it hurts me to see you suffering".  
  
A wide smile spread over her face and her eyes filled with happiness for the great love he felt for her. She knew how much he loved her, and she knew she loved him that much too, but it was always nice to be remembered about it. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly and then kissed his cheek. "I know and I love you that much too". She felt his arms tightening the hold and something deep inside of her, something she had never paid attention to wanted to stay in his arms forever. However, she pulled away and took his hand. "Let's go. They may need us sooner than we think". Andrew smiled and squeezed her hand, following her while they made themselves visible to the worried man that stayed besides the unconscious baby.  
  
Neither Monica nor Andrew had noticed Adam and Tess carefully looking at them, one with an understanding smile, the other with a knot in her stomach that grew heavier with every minute.  
  
"You must be Jacob", Andrew took the man out of his thoughts. "I'm Andrew and this is Monica. She'll be attending your baby".  
  
The man shook hands with both of them and Monica could feel his distress growing even deeper. "Is he too bad? Why does he need a special nurse?"  
  
"He's in an extremely serious condition, yes, but you must have faith", the little angel told him. "He'll have a 24 hour check, and you'll be able to stay with him as long as you want. Have you hold him?"  
  
"No!", there's was an enormous fear in Jacob's voice and he gave two steps back that really surprised the angels. "I – I think I... I'll wait for my wife to be the first, ok? And I'm going to check how she is right know. I'll be back", the last two sentences were said in a hurry just as Andrew and Monica saw him running out of the NICU room.  
  
Monica turned to face Andrew in search of an answer. "What happened to him?"  
  
Andrew sighed. "He's scared. He doesn't have a clue about what is he supposed to do with a little baby, especially when he didn't expect this happening so soon".  
  
"But he's his son".  
  
"But he didn't want to have a son nor a family by now".  
  
"'Every child is a gift from God', we say that many times", Monica felt a little uneasy about a father who didn't love his baby child.  
  
"But to some people it's harder to believe it. That's your assignment, to make them believe with your words what God tells them in His own way". He had wrapped an arm around her shoulders and they were at the side of the cradle, the baby looking even smaller between so many machines. "As little as he looks, he himself has an assignment to fulfill, and you, my dear friend, have to help him". The angel of death was delight to see the tender expression in Monica's face.  
  
"He's so cute I think it will be a pleasure", she said stroking the baby's cheek and smiling when a tiny hand held her finger.  
  
****  
  
Hours later, the door of the NICU room was opened as Tess entered pushing a woman in a wheel chair. She was pale and evidently exhausted, but more than anything, her eyes spoke about fear and uncertainty.  
  
"Monica?", the little angel was startled when her supervisor's voice broke the monotonous beeping of the monitors in the room. "This is Caroline, your baby's mother".  
  
"Hello, Caroline, it's good to meet you", the cheerful tone of her voice made the woman starting to relax and trust immediately in the Irish nurse assigned to her son. "Everything may look somewhat scaring, but believe me, he's doing well".  
  
Caroline reached her baby's cheek with a trembling finger, afraid to hurt him even with that slight touch. "Hello, sweetheart", her eyes filled with tears at the first sight of him. "I love you, little one, and I'll be here with you as long as I can, honey. So, please, hold on for me, ok?". Her words had become just a barely audible whisper drowned in the mother's tears.  
  
Monica turned to face Tess and nodded in understanding. "Would you like to hold him?", she asked the crying woman.  
  
"Can I?"  
  
"Of course". Monica took the baby and laid him on his mother's waiting arms. "In fact, most of the doctors think human contact makes wonders for premature babies". Both she and Tess couldn't help a smile when the baby seemed to recognized his mother and made a sound similar to a tiny giggle. "It seems he knows who's holding him".  
  
Caroline was speechless, lost in a marveled contemplation of her son. She was whispering him loving words unaware of the tears that fell freely through her cheeks. She didn't notice Andrew coming to meet the other angels.  
  
"Is that the mother?", he asked when the three of them were out of her earshot. "Where's Jacob?".  
  
"Well", Tess' voice was hesitant. "He was with her when I went to tell her she could come to see her son, but he seemed not ready to be here again. He sort of ran away as fast as he could".  
  
Monica sighted. "He's not going to be easy. I still can't understand why he's so afraid of his baby". She looked at Tess, but the older angel just shrugged her shoulders and shook her head.  
  
After some minutes, the younger angel came near Caroline. "Caroline? I want you to meet someone. This is Andrew, your baby's doctor".  
  
The blond angel met Caroline's eyes, so full of hope that he felt suddenly afraid of having to take the baby Home. "Hi, I've met your husband before".  
  
"Yes, he told me. Please, be honest, how is he?", she had taken her eyes away of her child for the first time since she had looked at him.  
  
Andrew knelt to met her gaze and laid a gentle hand over her forearm. "I'm not going to lie to you. He's not in the best condition. His lungs are extremely fragile as well as his heart. We're also worried about his kidneys, they seemed not fully developed".  
  
Caroline couldn't help a sob as she looked back at her son. "There must be something you can do for him, please?"  
  
"We're doing everything we can. The biggest risk is for him to have problems with his lungs. Babies of his age sometimes just stop breathing. We're giving him oxygen to prevent this but it is not 100% secure", he stroke her head gently trying to give her some of the comfort his words were taking away from her. "I know this is so hard, but I think you must know the truth".  
  
"Thank you", she managed to whisper in spite of the knot in her throat.  
  
Monica had came near Andrew and knelt at his side. "Don't give up hope, Caroline. Remember God is always looking after you... and after your husband".  
  
"Yes, I know. Thanks for remembering anyway", Caroline suddenly felt so relieved with the angels presence she thought God himself was somewhere near her.  
  
*****  
  
Caroline had spent hours at the NICU when Monica realized the IV in her arm was almost empty.  
  
"Caroline?", the little angel had been watching every movement of the mother, always paying attention to the baby as well. "I think we should take you back to your room, they'll have to change your IV soon. Besides it's late; you need to rest".  
  
Caroline nodded and kissed her baby one last time before handling him to Monica. "Thank you. Can I come back tomorrow morning?"  
  
"Of course". Monica placed the baby in his cradle and nodded to another nurse that came near him before she started to push Caroline's wheel chair. "Have you already think how will you name him?".  
  
"Not exactly. Jacob always avoided the topic when I tried to talked to him".  
  
"Well, maybe now you'll have to make your choice soon". Monica could feel the physical exhaustion of the woman but she couldn't decided if it was worse than the emotional one. "Here you are", said the Irish angel when they arrived. "I'll call Tess to change your IV and bring you some dinner, ok?". Monica helped Caroline to climb up her bed and arranged her covers.  
  
"Thanks", Caroline's voice was nothing but a tired whisper. "Monica, do you have children?".  
  
Her question surprised the angel and she smiled. "No, I don't".  
  
"Will you stay with my baby all night?", her tone remembered Monica a little girl asking to stay with her until she got to sleep, a girl as the many she had helped.  
  
"Yes, Caroline, I will. Now try to rest, ok?".  
  
*****  
  
Late that night Tess met Monica in a balcony on the roof terrace of the hospital. The older angel saw her charge so lost in her thoughts she was almost hesitant to interrupt her. Besides, her worry about what she had seen early between the younger angel and Andrew hadn't faded away.  
  
"Talking to the Father, baby?", Tess had came near her without being noticed.  
  
"Yes". Monica sighed before facing her supervisor. "Is Jacob with Caroline now?".  
  
"No", Monica could easily say Tess was really upset with a man that had left his wife alone just some hours after she had had a baby. "And I really don't know what to think about him".  
  
"Why didn't he want to have a baby, Tess? I wanted to ask Caroline but I think it's not a good idea".  
  
"A bad choice, baby, a lack of responsibility and this is how it ends. They were too young and were too in love..."  
  
Monica nodded catching the rest of the story. "They didn't had any precautions and..."  
  
"Exactly. You know? Jacob tried to make up things and he did it well. He asked her to marry him and they did, but since that very day everything changed".  
  
"Being in love is not always easy, huh?", Monica saw Andrew coming to meet them behind Tess.  
  
"No, baby, it isn't. And it is not always the perfect state everybody thinks. In fact...", Tess' tone of voice changed immediately when she saw Andrew wrapping his arms from behind around Monica's waist and when the expression of the Irish angel filled with complete happiness at his simple touch, "sometimes it just makes things much more complicated".  
  
"But it shouldn't be that way. I mean... It should always be good to have the person you love near you. It should always be a nice support and...", Monica's voice was filled with the normal enthusiasm she had when she defended something she believed in, but Tess could find something she hadn't notice in her angel girl's words. The dark skinned angel had his eyes fixed in Monica's hands that stroked gently the arms that were holding her.  
  
"And it is always hard to disappoint someone you love, Monica", Andrew's voice was so warm near her ear that the little angel almost unconsciously leaned her head back to rest it on his shoulder. "To love somebody makes you try to be perfect and it's difficult to accept that you can't. Jacob is afraid to fail Caroline and to fail his little son".  
  
Monica sighed and closed her eyes when she felt a little kiss Andrew placed on her forehead. None of them both saw Tess' eyes growing wider at this loving gesture of the angel of death, so they were astonished when she suddenly announced she was leaving.  
  
"It's enough! I'm leaving!".  
  
"What's happening Tess?", Monica pulled away from Andrew at this unexpected change on the talk.  
  
"Nothing. I'm just leaving". The older angel got into the hospital with a big slam on the door. Monica turned to face Andrew, who just shook his head at Monica's unspoken question.  
  
******  
  
Morning came and Monica hadn't noticed how many hours she had spent besides the cradle of the little baby that fought every minute to keep on living. To herself, she had decided she really loved that baby and she was determined to do everything she could to help him make it through. She didn't watched the clock until a warm voice made her smile.  
  
"Coffee?", he had placed a big paper cup full of her hot favorite drink. "Angel girl, you should rest. You've been here the whole night".  
  
"I know", she had accepted his offer and taken a sip. "But I promised Caroline I'd stay with him all night".  
  
"Angel, I'd like to remember just one time when you didn't work harder than you're supposed to", he said pulling her to hug her lovingly.  
  
"Good morning", Caroline's voice surprised them both, but what pleased them more was to see Jacob pushing his wife's wheel chair. "I hope it's not to early".  
  
"Oh, no, Caroline. It's ok", Monica knelt to meet the woman's gaze and gave her arm a comforting squeeze. "I'm glad you decided to come too, Jacob".  
  
"Well, yes, I'm sorry about yesterday", doubt was still present in his voice and the angels could feel he was there just to please Caroline. "How is he?"  
  
"He made it through the night", Andrew informed the parents, "but I will not lie: his condition is still very serious".  
  
"Maybe you can hold him today, honey", Caroline's pleading voice was so full of hope Monica felt tears coming to her eyes.  
  
Jacob's face changed immediately. "No!". Both Andrew and Monica as well as his wife turned to see him in surprise. "I'm sorry but I- I need to... I need to go somewhere", he was half on the way out of the room. "I'll be back later".  
  
"Jacob!", Caroline's tears had started to fall down. "Please, don't go!".  
  
"I'm sorry, Caroline", Jacob was clearly upset. "I just can't do this".  
  
Monica and Andrew were sorrowed for the woman whose head was now low to hide his tears. The Irish angel knelt to comfort her. "Don't cry Caroline. Your son needs you to be calm".  
  
"Why is he doing this? He used to love so much!", the tone of the woman almost broke Monica's heart.  
  
"I'm sure he still does, but he's afraid. Give him some time. The baby is his son and I'm sure he loves him... very, very much", Monica's words were soft and as the first time, they gave Caroline a lot of peace. "Have you decided something about his name?". The angel had risen to take the baby from the cradle and place him on his mother's lap.  
  
"Not yet". She blinked out tears to see her baby clearly. "Hello, sweetheart".  
  
Andrew had been watching Monica comforting the crying mother and he felt his heart full of the tenderness his friend could inspire. "Angel?", Monica turned to face him. "I'm going to find Tess, I have a feeling she might help us".  
  
"How did you call her?", Caroline's voice surprised them.  
  
"Angel?", Andrew asked hesitantly.  
  
"Angel", the mother voice was almost a whisper and she was looking at her baby again. "I like it. That's how we'll name you, sweet boy. Angel... my Angel".  
  
Andrew smiled to his friend again, and left the room.  
  
"That's very sweet, Caroline, and I think it fits him perfectly", the little angel said meeting her still teary gaze.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Andrew had walked around almost all the hospital looking for Tess before he met another angel.  
  
"Hello, angel boy. Too busy for an old friend?", the other angel of death took the blond one out of his thoughts.  
  
"Adam! What a surprise! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Working, my dear friend, as always", Adam shook Andrew's hand.  
  
"Some old cases?".  
  
"And some new ones...", Adam sighed. "You've been looking for Jacob?".  
  
"No, Tess actually. But, how do you know about Jacob?", Andrew asked knowing he hadn't explain anything about his assignment.  
  
"Well...", Adam hesitated, "you'll have some help this time".  
  
"You? Why?"  
  
"I don't know exactly, buddy, but I was sent here, so..."  
  
"Two angels of death for a baby? It's strange", Andrew knew that cases where two of them were required were not exactly often. "Then, I guess I'll see you later", he said pointing his head towards his assignment's father.  
  
"Yeah, go and talk to him now". Before his colleague left, Adam asked: "Is Monica around?".  
  
"In the NICU".  
  
"I think I'll go and say hi".  
  
"Ok". Andrew shook the hand Adam had offered him. "Adam, she doesn't know he may go".  
  
"All right, I'll be careful".  
  
****  
  
By the time Andrew was talking to Adam, Monica had helped Caroline to breastfeed her baby for the first time and now both woman and angel were watching the tiny sleeping face with tender gazes. It was the young mother the first to break the silence between them.  
  
"The doctor, Andrew... he says he's still in danger", Monica could clearly find the worried tone in her words. "I'm praying the whole time for him, but I would like to have a concrete answer".  
  
"That's not the way God gives you the answers to your prayers, Caroline", the angel voice was so full of patience. "A prayer is not a yes or not demand".  
  
"I know", a sob almost deafened her voice, but she sighed to recover herself a second after. "How long have you known Andrew?".  
  
"What?", the sudden change in conversation surprised the Irish angel.  
  
"I asked you how long have you known Andrew? I mean, I saw him hugging you when we came in".  
  
"Oh", Monica smiled, "We've know each other for ages!". Caroline could sense the happiness in the angel's voice when talking about him.  
  
"Are you dating?"  
  
If Caroline's first question had surprised her, this time she found herself momentarily out of words. "No", she giggled softly, "we're not dating".  
  
"Mmm, that's a shame. You two make a beautiful couple", her tone was even a little mischievous, as if she had forgotten her worries for a split second. "And he's so cute calling you 'Angel'".  
  
Monica briefly met her gaze and shook her head in understanding. She went to the desk were Angel's file was and pretended to check it, but she had just turned to think about his beloved friend without having to explain her tender smile. Oh, yes, there was a great love behind Andrew's sweet nickname, but nothing of the kind everyone would think... or may be she was wrong? That sudden question made her jump... But she ran out of the thought when she saw Adam waving his hand at her on the corridor.  
  
"Adam! What are you doing here?", the little angel was hugging his friend happily before the door was shut.  
  
"Hello, beautiful, it's nice to see you!". Adam always liked to see her and enjoyed her normal happy humor.  
  
"Are you working at the hospital?". Her eyes were so full of innocence Adam felt he was lying to her, but he had promised Andrew not to disturb her.  
  
"I'm waiting for my orders. I've just seen Andrew, he told me where to find you".  
  
"Well, maybe you can wait and we all can go have dinner together. Tess is also at the hospital. It's been a long time since the last time I saw you", Monica squeezed his hands, reflecting in some way the joy in her eyes.  
  
"That would be nice. I'll try to find Andrew and Tess, ok?".  
  
"Ok, I'll see you later then", Monica said kissing his cheek.  
  
***  
  
Andrew took a deep breath before he walked through the corridor to the waiting room where Jacob was seated, head buried in so hard crisped hands that his knuckles were white. "Jacob?", the angel's voice didn't make him turn, so he took a seat beside the man.  
  
"I love them you know?", Jacob's voice was calm but it held something aching Andrew couldn't explain. "I love Caroline and I love the baby, but this is not the way I wanted everything to be".  
  
"How did you want them, Jacob?".  
  
"I wanted to offer her a real home, something we would plan with enough time. Babies would come... but later", the father sighed and leaned his back over. "Gosh! Nothing seems ok right now". He met the always supportive blond angel's eyes and felt in some way that he could talk to him all the things he hasn't talked to anyone yet. "I feel like I need someone to blame for this".  
  
"But this is not Caroline's fault..."  
  
"No, I know! This is all my fault!", Jacob stood up with a jump and his calm voice was immediately changed for an angry tone that surprised Andrew.  
  
"How can you say that? You gave her a beautiful child!".  
  
"You don't understand! These were not our plans!"  
  
"But this is your reality now!", Jacob's frantic argument was starting to mining the angel's patience.  
  
"There you are: I gave her a reality we didn't want so soon!", the man has started pacing all around the room and Andrew stood up to try to stop him.  
  
"Jacob...", the angel of death sighed to calm himself before he tried to continue.  
  
"That nurse...", Jacob suddenly turned to face the angel, "the Irish woman..."  
  
"Monica?", Andrew was quite confused about what she had to do with this conversation.  
  
"Yes, Monica, do you love her?", the man's anxiety was deeper every minute.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come on, doctor! I saw you hugging her. Do you love her?"  
  
"Yes, but...", Andrew had started to guess where he wanted to go.  
  
"No buts, it's a yes o not question!"  
  
"Yes, I love her", the angel heard himself answering: he had never completely realized that this words felt so natural in his lips.  
  
"Would you ever do something to hurt her in purpose?"  
  
"Of course not!"  
  
"Have you ever feel that you can't do all the things you would want to do to show her how much you love her?"  
  
Somehow Andrew felt as if he was the one that needed help. He had never thought about Monica that way; he had always assumed that he loved her and supposed that she knew it. It was easy to say that he would never hurt her, but had he always showed her how much he cared for her? Put in the way Jacob did, it suddenly felt that actually there had been many times when he hadn't been able to do everything he'd like just to see Monica smiling, to see her eyes bright with joy and not with tears. "Yes, I have", the angel felt the words coming out of his mouth almost unwillingly.  
  
"So, you do know what is to love somebody so absolutely that there's nothing in this world you wouldn't do for her?", the man's eyes held a conviction shine and his tone a fervor that Andrew was sure it could make anyone's mind up. Besides, he had to accept that he hadn't heard a description of the kind of unconditional love he felt for Monica that seemed more accurate at that precise moment.  
  
The angel was silent for some seconds, just holding Jacob's gaze. When he finally could answer, the three tiny words were almost a whisper: "Yes, I do".  
  
"Well, doctor, you see now: I betrayed Caroline's love". This last sentence had no more the conviction the angel of death had seen in his assignment's father. Instead, it was a defeat acceptance. Suddenly, Andrew found himself speechless, with no arguments to stop the man that was leaving him stood in the middle of a desert waiting room.  
  
****  
  
Andrew reminded alone in the waiting room after his talking with Jacob for what seemed to him like an eternity. What the man had asked him was something he already know: he loved Monica, more than he loved any other angel or human he had ever met, but not in the way Jacob thought... Or maybe he was wrong? It was true that he couldn't help to hug her or kiss her every time he had a chance and it had always felt so perfectly natural for him... He looked at his hands: how many times had he touched her cheek and marveled at how soft it was? How many times had he took her hand and thought that it seemed made just in the exact size to fit his? The last of his thoughts somehow startled him: how many times had he seen her smile and told himself that there was nothing in the world more beautiful than her lips? He stood up immediately and shook his head: no, it was not possible, they were angels, he shouldn't think of her that way. He raised his head to the ceiling, looking at an indefinite point, and was about to ask for some guide when a sound of footsteps made him turn to the door. He wasn't at all prepared: it was Monica.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 3  
  
"Here you are. I've been waiting for you to go to the unit", Monica said coming closer to him.  
  
It took Andrew just a second to make his mind straight: he loved her and nothing else matter. She was there, smiling and offering her hands to him. He took them carefully and looked at them: they were perfect and he couldn't help to stroke them with his thumbs. "I'm sorry. I had a little chat with Jacob and I guess I lost track of time".  
  
"And did he tell you why is he acting this way?", Monica's gaze was so full of innocent and pure desire to help that the angel of death felt he had not the right words to make her see what he had just been made see.  
  
"He feels he's betrayed Caroline's love".  
  
"Poor Jacob. He's put himself a burden that doesn't even exist. Caroline loves him so much...".  
  
Andrew released her hands and held her tightly. He felt her head automatically resting over his chest and her arms encircling his waist and he took a deep breath: the contact of her body against his brought a wave of relief to his annoyed heart. He closed his eyes and thanked God for allowing him to have Monica near by. "Sometimes", he finally said, "it's hard to love somebody so much".  
  
She pulled a little away just enough to look at his eyes. "Is there something wrong, Andrew?", she asked having felt some of his unease going through his embrace.  
  
"No", he whispered cupping her face with delicate hands, "not when you're near by me".  
  
Monica felt her heart racing when she saw him leaning down a little. He was looking at her lips unable to take his eyes away, and she didn't pull apart. She looked at his lips too, not knowing what was making her to stand there as frozen.  
  
"Shall we go or do we have to wait?", Tess' angry tone made both angels jump. Andrew released Monica immediately and buried his hands in the pockets of his pants, while she looked straight at the floor and crossed her arms.  
  
"No", Andrew said, "just let me grab my jacket", and walked out of the room.  
  
Adam and Tess' gazes followed him and then turned to Monica. Adam wouldn't doubt to say the young angel wanted to disappear at that very moment. "I'm not sure if I want to know what's happening here, Miss Wings!", hands in tight fists on her hips, the dark skinned angel seemed quite scaring.  
  
The calm tone of the Irish angel really surprised Adam. "There's nothing, Tess".  
  
"You call that nothing?", Tess was about to yell at her.  
  
"Yes, Tess, I said there's nothing wrong between us", Monica's attitude meeting her supervisor's gaze and security in her voice put down any other attempt of the older angel to continue the argument as she saw her charge walking out of the room too.  
  
****  
  
By the time they had arrived to the restaurant, the happy talking of the three younger angels had almost smoothed down Tess' bad humor. The place Adam had chosen was small but the service as well as the food were excellent. Most of the talking had been about their last assignments: some sad, some happy endings, some so funny Andrew and Monica had laughed until they had tears on their eyes.  
  
Though she had enjoyed the night and had laughed with Adam's jokes, concern was still evident in Tess' eyes, especially when she had gotten a tender gaze or a slight caress between her charges. Her mind continued to tell her this was not all right, but her heart couldn't stop being happy to see Monica smiling or being full of tenderness with the sweet way the angel of death looked at her.  
  
They had already finished dinner when the music filled the place and soon a couple had taken place on the dance floor. Some minutes later, there were five or six. All the four angels were looking at them when finally Andrew broke the silence between them.  
  
"Will you excuse me for a minute?", he said and blinked an eye to Monica who was looking at him questioningly. He was gone for all the rest of the song, and after it the sweet notes of a well known melody started to sound.  
  
"May I have this dance, Monica?", Adam had stood up and was offering his hand to her.  
  
"This lady is spoken for, Adam", Andrew said coming back to their table. "Besides", he explained grinning to the little Irish angel, "I asked it for you. It fits you perfectly". Monica's smile was full of curiosity and excitement.  
  
"'I can't fight this feeling'?", Adam's eyebrows were risen. "Are you crazy, man?", the older angel of death was standing in surprise at the side of the table not knowing what to think about this direct love dedication to the angel of truth.  
  
"No", Andrew's smile was a mix of innocence, surprise and happiness while he followed Monica, who was already walking to the dance floor, her little fingers never releasing his friend's until they were right in the middle and she was wrapping her arms around his neck and he was encircling her waist.  
  
Adam turned to look at Tess, who had remained completely silent. "I don't know what to think, Adam, I really don't know", she said and this time her voice was not angry but really worried. "I didn't want to believe you at the beginning, but now I can't deny you were right".  
  
"I don't want to say I told you".  
  
"What am I supposed to do? I keep thinking this is not correct: they're angels, they're not supposed to feel that way. Angels are full of God's love; they should not need any other kind of love", her tone didn't show her normal security, instead it talked about a great fear.  
  
"But we know we can feel other kinds of love, Tess. The one for friends, for example, or the one you feel for your angel girl", Adam was trying to meet her gaze, but Tess continued to follow every single movement of Andrew and Monica in the dance floor.  
  
"Friendship is different, Adam".  
  
"Why? Why it's different, Tess? It comes from the Father, just as this", he said pointing out at the angelic couple. "You love Monica, she's like your daughter, you want to see her happy, you want to know that there's someone else who would do anything for her, someone who will always help her, who will guide her and encourage her just as you've done since she started to work with you. Well, there your are: that's Andrew. He loves her, he will always be with her".  
  
Tess shook her head desperately and lowered her eyes as if ashamed of what was happening. "I'm afraid", she whispered, and then finally met the angel's of death eyes. "What if you're wrong? What if this is not part of His plan and they are defying His will? Have they talked about what is happening between them? Has Andrew told you he's really in love?"  
  
A new song, 'Unchained melody', had started and neither Monica nor Andrew seemed to have noticed. In fact, she had buried her face in his neck and he seemed perfectly content with her closeness.  
  
"You have too many questions", Adam sighed. "To answer some of them, neither Monica nor Andrew have told me anything and I don't think they had spoken about this either. I told you they are so close they haven't realized that their relationship has changed during the years. That", he pointed them again, Andrew and Monica's foreheads were joined and she was laughing quietly while he rubbed her back, "feels perfectly natural for them, so I guess they would wonder why it's wrong to show their love for each other. And believe me, Tess, if I hadn't pointed it out to you, you'd continue to feel it natural too".  
  
A deep breath was her first answer. "You're probably right, baby", she accepted. "But after this afternoon... when he was about to kiss her...", she shook her head again in defeat.  
  
Adam took her hand that had been playing nervously with the coffee spoon and gave her a squeeze. "Tess, have you talked to the Father about this?". Seeing her shaking her head, he continued. "I think you should".  
  
"I'm afraid to go with Him and find out it was not supposed to happen. Not only for my own relief but for theirs. The more I think about it, the more I'm afraid how would they react if it didn't work out".  
  
"That's what is bothering you, Tess. The unexpected future", this time Adam was really serious. "You're worrying about something that may not ever happen".  
  
"I don't want to see them hurt!", the old angel has started to lose her temper.  
  
"They may never get!".  
  
"And what if they do?".  
  
Adam sighed and decided to finish the arguing. Tess could be really stubborn and he would never get to convince her. "You have to go to Him, Tess. That's all I can tell you now".  
  
Tess remained silent for the next minutes lost in her thoughts, and so did Adam, who kept on watching Andrew and Monica. Finally, the two younger angels came back to the table to meet them.  
  
"Are you having a good time?", Adam asked Monica, the wide smile in her face talking for her.  
  
"Yes, Adam, thank you. But I think we should leave now. I want to go back to the hospital to check on little Angel".  
  
"That's the best idea I've heard tonight", Tess exclaimed and stood up in half a second. "We shouldn't neglect our duties and it seems like we're doing so... Some of us more than others", she murmured glancing at Andrew and Monica. "Let's go".  
  
Monica and Andrew looked at Adam trying to find out what was wrong with her, but the angel of death shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. The three of them followed Tess obediently, both Monica and Andrew making a mental note to try to talk to her later.  
  
***  
  
Monica spent almost all the night alone, standing at the side of Angel's cradle. The baby kept fighting for every minute and for every breath, and the little angel would not stop praying for him to be ok for in her heart it was all that matter at that moment. It was nearly 7:00 am when Tess came into the room to check on her.  
  
"How's he doing?", the supervisor came near to the cradle and smiled at the little sleeping baby.  
  
"Not as good as I'd like", Monica said in a sigh. "He's got fever, the doctor had given him some antibiotics but I'm still worried".  
  
"Well, at least you have something else in your mind", words were out even before Tess had thought about saying them.  
  
Monica noticed the unease in her tone and decided it was better to set things straight with her supervisor once for all. "Is something wrong, Tess?", she asked. "You've been acting quite strange about Andrew and me lately".  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about", the older angel couldn't do anything to hide the nervousness in her voice but to avoid the Irish angel's eyes.  
  
"No, you know perfectly", Monica was determined not to lose her chance. "You're not supposed to lie, so go on with this". She had crossed her arms and was standing right in front of her supervisor.  
  
"Now, you're asking an explanation for me, Miss Wings?", Tess had somehow managed to reassure herself and now had her hands on her hips in her typical scolding attitude. "It seems to me that you and Andrew have some things to talk to me about".  
  
"Tess, I really don't know what you mean. There's nothing wrong between us".  
  
"He holds you every time he can!"  
  
"He always had!"  
  
"He ask love songs especially for you!"  
  
"We always dance together!"  
  
"He was about to kiss you!"  
  
"He's kissed me a million times!"  
  
"On the mouth?"  
  
Monica stepped back having no answer for this. Of course Andrew had never kissed her on the mouth, but if it had been about to happen, she would certainly discuss this with just one other angel, Andrew. She closed her eyes and sighed. She was about to answer her supervisor but then she saw Caroline walking slowly towards the room.  
  
"Good morning, Caroline", Monica said while she opened the door to her. "You're walking by yourself".  
  
"Yes. I've been released today", she explained.  
  
"That's great, baby", Tess helped the woman to take a seat next to her son.  
  
"Hello, sweetie. How are you?", Caroline murmured to him while stroking his little cheek, but immediately noticing his temperature. "He's too hot!". Both Tess and Caroline's eyes focused immediately in Monica's, the mother's full of great worry.  
  
The younger angel came closer to her and laid a hand over her forearm. "Caroline, do you remember that Andrew told you that his lungs were extremely fragile? It seems he's developed an infection. He has fever but he's under medication already".  
  
"Why didn't you call me?". Caroline's crying voice made Monica to blink the tears she had felt coming to her eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry but it was 3 o'clock in the morning and you needed to rest. Andrew will be here any time soon and you can ask him anything you want, ok?".  
  
Seeing the young mother nodding Tess asked her, "Where's Jacob, honey? I think he really should see his child".  
  
"Oh, he's at the desk filling up the papers. He said he'll meet me here".  
  
Monica closed her eyes and made a little prayer for it to be true. A minute later the door was open and Jacob came in followed by Andrew.  
  
"Jacob! Angel is sick", Caroline thrown herself into her husband's arms openly crying now.  
  
"I know, Car", he said rubbing her back. "The doctor has already told me".  
  
Andrew's gaze met Monica's for a second before he came near to the parents. It was all the Irish angel needed to understand that his friend had terrible news. Nevertheless, Jacob's voice interrupted their unspoken conversation.  
  
"I've got to go", he said pulling his wife apart and never meeting her surprised sight.  
  
"Jacob, what?"  
  
"I have to work, remember?", his tone was quite angry now, nothing of the tender voice that had comforted his wife.  
  
"Jacob, your son needs you!", Monica pleaded.  
  
"My son needs the money to pay for all this and I have to work for it".  
  
"This is nothing about money!", she had started to lose patience with such a stubborn man.  
  
"It's all about it. Now if you excuse me", he said leaving the three angels wordless.  
  
Monica moved to hold Caroline trying to comfort her with Tess while Andrew followed Jacob out of the NICU. Once at the corridor, the blond angel questioned him.  
  
"What do you think you're doing, Jacob?"; Andrew's voice was exasperated.  
  
"Don't you get it, doctor? I can't just quit my job to cry over the cradle of a dying baby!".  
  
"A dying baby that is you son!", it took every tiny drop of patience to Andrew not to take that man by the jacket and push him against the wall.  
  
"I can't make this harder for her! I can't tell her that I don't have money to afford any other thing Angel may need! She would never forgive me and neither would I!".  
  
Andrew closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Jacob", he finally said, "I don't know how long your son is going to live but I know for sure that you will regret to not have spent every minute you could've spent with him".  
  
Jacob held Andrew's gaze for some minutes surprising the angel for the coldness he could see in it.  
  
"You don't know how long he's gonna live. I don't know either. But I have to have money if he has any future to face", the father said turning his back to the angel and walking away.  
  
Regardless of their angelic nature, Monica and Tess found themselves with no words to help Caroline, so they had reminded just looking at the woman and her child. Finally, Tess looked at Monica and pointed to the door with her head to showed her she was leaving. The younger angel nodded in understanding. Tess crossed Andrew while he returned to the unit but she didn't notice the red rose he had in one hand.  
  
"Angel girl?", the angel of death took Monica by the elbow to take her a little apart. He handled her the rose and smiled at her surprised face. "It was supposed to be my way to thank you for the beautiful night yesterday, but I forgot it at the desk when I found Jacob".  
  
"It should be me the one to say thanks for the night", she said looking at him, her eyes bright with a tender love.  
  
"Well, I had the most beautiful dance partner", he was stroking her cheek gently, drinking in all the features of her face he knew so well. Every time he did so, he thought of her as the most beautiful creature he had ever met and Monica could read it in his eyes and cherish the knowledge of someone loving her so much. Suddenly, Andrew turned to look at the corridor out of the unit. Two nurses and a doctor were running towards another room. He sighed and looked at Monica once again. "I've got to go", he said and kissed her hand.  
  
"I know", the little angel answered, knowing he had been called to take somebody Home. She watched him leaving the room, his clothes changing immediately as he reached the corridor and a soft golden glowing surrounded him.  
  
Caroline had barely listened to the conversation between the two angels but noticed the red rose Monica was smelling at and a sad smile spread on her face. "Jacob used to be like him, you know?", she said, quite surprising the angel. "He used to buy me a rose the next day every time we had had a special night. No matter what had made it special... Sometimes I don't know what I expected the most, the special night or the rose with a little card and loving words the following morning".  
  
"I'm sure he always found a way to make every day special for you", the Irish angel offered coming closer once more to the anguished mother.  
  
"I can't barely recognize him, Monica", Caroline said, her teary eyes talking lots more. "He's not the same Jacob I fell in love with before we got married. I don't know him. He's a complete stranger and...", she lowered her head as if ashamed of what she was about to say.  
  
"And what, Caroline?", Monica's voice was soft, inviting her to open her heart and speak all the things that were troubling her.  
  
"God! I shouldn't say this but...", she met the angel's brown eyes and found in them the confidence to continue. "But... I don't want to be married to a stranger".  
  
****  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Monica had had a difficult task in convincing Caroline to go and have some lunch, but at last the mother had agreed to do so. The angel was once more besides the baby, who seemed to be sound asleep, resting calmly instead of fighting a hard infection. The Irish angel's prayers had never stopped though deep in her heart there was a fear growing up. She was again asking God to give her some peace when Tess' voice took her out of her thoughts.  
  
"Where's Caroline?"  
  
"Tess, I'm glad you're here!", Monica thought her supervisor could help her to find the answers she hadn't found yet. "Caroline is downstairs, getting some lunch. And that's good to me because I really need to talk to you".  
  
"About?"  
  
"About something she said...", Monica met the dark skinned angel's eyes and felt the warm relief she felt every time she found in them the experience and knowledge she needed. "Caroline saw the rose Andrew gave me", Monica looked at the vase where she had placed it and didn't notice Tess frowning, "and she told me that Jacob used to be that kind to her too, but that now she barely recognizes him, so..."  
  
"So what?"  
  
"So... she doesn't want to be married to a stranger", Monica sighed and met her eyes again. "I'm afraid she's thinking about getting divorced".  
  
"I'm sorry, Miss Wings, but I think I was clear enough about what your assignment was!", the tone of Tess' voice and the answer startled the little angel, who now had became to feel ashamed instead than worried. "Your assignment is not just watch little Angel all day long, but help his parents as well. Now, it seems to me that you have hidden yourself behind his little cradle and forgotten about all the rest". Monica had lowered her head to hide her eyes and now was fighting the tears she felt coming. "Caroline needs her husband back, but she has to help him to come back. He's angry and scared but so is she, and I haven't seen you trying to make her open her heart and share her burden with her husband, and most important with the Father. This little angel", Tess pointed at Angel, "has his own assignment, and it isn't for sure to be tied to a bunch of beeping monitors. His assignment are his parents and he needs your help, so do your job! I don't want to have to remember it to you again, ok?".  
  
"Ok", Monica's voice was barely a whisper.  
  
"A divorce is not a choice this time. Caroline and Jacob made a promise and a promise cannot be broken without trying to fulfill it to the end. I think you understand what 'for better or worse' means. They have known the better, and they have to go through the worse. That's your job and I hope you don't forget it".  
  
"Yes, ma'am".  
  
"Good", Tess left the little angel blinking tears but she had to accept that Tess was right: she had comforted Caroline and even argue with Jacob, but she has taken Caroline's side and was not helping both of them to be together.  
  
**** Monica was still fighting to find a way to talk to Caroline during the afternoon until she forced herself to accept that she had to come to the subject directly. "Caroline?", she started dubiously, "Can I ask you something?"  
  
"Yes".  
  
"It's about... what you said before. About you and Jacob. You didn't mean it, did you?"  
  
"About getting divorced?", Caroline met Monica's eyes but lost the clear expectation in them. "Yes, I meant it".  
  
"But, Caroline...!"  
  
"Monica, don't you see I'm tired of this?", she said pointing at Angel's cradle. "Of him running away from his child? Making excuses to be out of the problem? If he does this now, what can I expect from him in ten years when he would not be so in love with me as he says he is now?"  
  
"How do you know he will not love you even more?", the Irish angel suddenly felt she was about to lose the control of what she thought she would say to the mother.  
  
"Well, I think it's not so hard to figure out he doesn't love me".  
  
"Yes, he does!"  
  
"Monica", Caroline sighed before she could answer, "I tried to convince myself I was wrong but I think facts speak for themselves and the fact is that if he really loved me and cared for his child, he would be here! We didn't expect all this to happen, not so soon. It's not only his fault, it's mine too. But if he is not prepared to deal with this, fine with me. I'll do it all by myself. I love him, but I'm not going to force him to stay if he doesn't want to".  
  
"Caroline, you're wrong..."  
  
"Where, Monica?", she interrupted the angel, "Where am I wrong? Have you talked to him? Has he told you he's sorry for making me feel like rubbish?".  
  
"No", the little angel accepted lowering her eyes. For the second time in a day, she had been pointed out she was missing an important part of her assignment.  
  
"Then, don't try to play his lawyer. Look, I really appreciate you're here, but I must ask you not to speak for him or leave me alone, ok?", Caroline's angry tone went directly to the angel's already troubled heart.  
  
Monica looked Caroline's eyes and knew it was a lost battle to try to talk to her at that moment. "Ok", she whispered. "I'm sorry, I'll be back", and left the unit.  
  
****  
  
"That's why I don't like hospital work too much, you know?", Andrew was telling Adam while they walked through a corridor. Both were just coming back after taking two people Home. "Sometimes, it feels good to take somebody who's in a lot of pain, but other times you can't avoid feel sorry for the relatives".  
  
"Yes, but the first part is what we should matter the most. Sick people are free from pain in heaven and...", Adam didn't finish his idea when he saw Monica walking to them without noticing, crossed arms and lowered head that spoke for her. "Monica, what's happening?", he said hurrying up to her side.  
  
"Baby, what is it?", Andrew was even faster than Adam and ran towards her, his heart beating a million times per second at seeing her expression. Monica threw herself in his arms and buried her face in his chest, releasing a quiet sob and longing to feel his comforting embrace. He hugged her tightly, resting his chin over her head and looking at Adam, who shared the same surprised expression he had, though Andrew felt ready to kick whoever had dared to make her cry.  
  
"I don't know how to get Caroline to open her heart to Jacob", she said quietly after some minutes, never loosening her embrace from Andrew. "I feel I'm running out of time but I don't know what else to do".  
  
"I think you're exhausted, Monica", Adam said before Andrew could answer. "Why don't you take her to get a coffee or something like that, Andrew? I'll be with little Angel".  
  
"What do you think?", the blond angel pulled Monica a little apart and cupped her face to meet her teary gaze. Seeing her nod, she hugged her again and looked at Adam in agreement. "I think a hot cappuccino will be perfect for you, and you deserve to be a little bit spoiled today".  
  
*****  
  
Monica didn't say a word on their way to a little coffee shop near the hospital. Andrew had wrapped an arm around her shoulders but she hasn't returned the gesture the way she always did, wrapping an arm around his waist; instead she had her arms crossed over her chest. This was enough for him to know her self-confidence was about to collapse, so he kept looking at her out of the corner of his eye to see if she was crying.  
  
Walking with his best friend in silence, his comforting arm giving her a warmth that flooded directly to her heart, Monica felt some of her unease disappearing and after some minutes, she cuddled in his embrace, closed her eyes for a second and let out a sigh of relief that Andrew welcomed with a smile as well as her closeness.  
  
They found a lonely cabinet and Andrew ordered the beverage the way he knew she liked it. Monica silently thanked God for giving her somebody that knew her so well. She kept looking at her cup for a while, equally silent, just feeling the warmth of Andrew's hand over hers, and it wasn't until she had drunk half of the cappuccino that she finally broke the silence between them.  
  
"Tess and Caroline are right, you know?", she said squeezing his hand and finally meeting his green eyes.  
  
"Angel..."  
  
"No, Andrew, it's true. I haven't try to talk to Jacob. I've barely crossed some words with him".  
  
"Well, he's not exactly willing to".  
  
"God would have given me the right words. He will give them to me, but I have to actually talk to him".  
  
The blond angel sighed in defeat. "I know you will, no matter what I may tell you, right?".  
  
Monica smiled and, for the first time in that night, Andrew saw the same joy of her smile reflected in her eyes. He couldn't help to kiss her hand and lean over a little to stroke her cheek, the great love she inspired in him evidently present in his eyes. "No", she answered drinking in his features while he kissed her hand. "That's my job and that's how I was made, because I'm a servant of God before a servant of my own heart".  
  
"Oh, I remember those words!", he said referring to an assignment when Monica had revealed to get him back on his feet. She giggled slightly and the angel of death cherished the sound with all his heart. Seeing the little sparkle of satisfaction in her eyes, Andrew thought he would be happy to stay like this with her forever: her little hand in his, her tender face within his reach, her eyes reflecting her love for him. "I love you, Monica", he said, seriousness beyond any doubt in his voice.  
  
"I love you too, Andrew", she was just as serious as he had been. "I think you will never know how much..."  
  
For some seconds, they got lost in each other's eyes, discovering for the first time the real depths of their feelings. Andrew could see in Monica's face the tenderness that his soul had always needed in hard times; Monica saw the support and the strength of the most perfect soulmate she could ever find. Andrew remembered the Irish angel was the greatest gift, the sweetest blessing the Father could have ever given him; Monica knew the love she saw in his eyes was a tangible proof of God's love for her.  
  
"Can I get you something else?", the voice of the waitress broke the magical moment and she seemed to notice it too late. "Ups! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you..."  
  
"No, no, it's ok", Andrew smiled somewhat embarrassed and then shared an accomplice gaze with Monica. "We're just fine, thank you".  
  
"Ok, if you need something else, just call me", the young woman seemed unable to find a fast enough way to leave the 'sweethearts' alone again.  
  
The unexpected interruption allowed the two angels to relax and start talking about other things that took Monica's worries away. They remembered old assignments and even made plans to try to visit Bud and Betsy Baxter, take some flowers to Petey Carmichel's grave or drop in The sign of the dove with Tess and Adam.  
  
Andrew was pleased to see Monica in such a good mood and he never worried to check the hour. The coffee shop had become quieter but he felt that peace was exactly what his friend needed and was in no hurry to go back to the hospital. It was almost midnight when the angel of death got the call. He was talking lively and suddenly rose his head, closed his eyes and sighed heavily.  
  
"Andrew?", Monica's voice was full of concern, knowing what his silence mean but at the same time praying with all her heart for it not to be true.  
  
"We've gotta go back", he said already fearing her anguished expression. "Right now".  
  
"Oh no, Father, please", he heard her whispering and wondered if he should've told her this would happen. He had been expecting that he, Adam and Tess had all be wrong or, at least, that this would not have to happen soon.  
  
In less than five minutes he was running a step behind Monica down the corridor of the hospital to the NICU. Everything that came after they got in seemed to happen in low motion: two nurses and three doctors were working frantically, giving CPR to Angel, the continued flat line in the heart monitor announcing it was time for he and Adam to do their job. The other angel of death and Tess were already waiting for him in the opposite corner and he didn't know when his clothes as well as Monica's were changed.  
  
"Nooo!", Monica's cry made him go back to the present moment and he saw his beloved angel covering her open mouth and closing tightly her teary eyes. He held her trying to keep her standing but her legs grew weak and she knelt in front of the cradle, unaware of Andrew's pleading words. Tess and Adam came near and knelt besides them, but Monica had buried her face in Andrew's chest and she was clinging desperately to his jacket, painfully crying. The surprised blond angel looked questioningly at Tess and Adam, any of them prepared to see the Irish angel reacting like this.  
  
"Baby...", Tess started to stroke her auburn hair, attempting to make her turn to face her. "Baby, look at me..."  
  
The little angel shook her head desperately. "Father, please, don't take him yet, I beg you", she said throwing her arms around Andrew's neck in the same anguished way.  
  
"Andrew, it's time", Tess remarked softly, rubbing her angel girl's back.  
  
He met the dark skinned angel's eyes, his gaze talking much more than his words. "Tess, I can't let her like this".  
  
"Andrew, this is your duty", she tried to argue, yet she didn't want to see the younger angel suffering so much.  
  
"Father, please...", Andrew whispered blinking back the tears that threatened his eyes feeling Monica's hold tightening and her sobs still breathtaking. "I need to stay with her".  
  
"I'll go, Andrew", Adam offered and turned to face the supervisor, but instead of finding her normal scolding face, he found a deep worry. "It's ok, Tess. That's why I had to be here". Andrew nodded his thanks and saw his friend walk to the cradle, lift Angel's soul and disappear into the gold, warm light. He closed his eyes and held Monica tighter, offering God in silence to do anything to take that pain away from her.  
  
****  
  
Monica wasn't sure about what happened the next two days. She knew she and Andrew had talked to Jacob and Caroline. She had held the young mother and had cried with her, sharing the pain for a lost that both of them had refused to consider possible. Jacob had vanished again after the terrible announcement and just returned when Andrew had almost finished with the arrangements for the funeral.  
  
Monica had felt him near her all the time, offering her a hug every time she had needed it, kissing her head whenever she had lowered it feeling she had failed in her assignment. Nevertheless, her grief was still to fresh to be fully aware of what his presence meant for her at those moments.  
  
They had just returned from the cemetery to Jacob and Caroline's home. Tess had let them alone there, evidently confused at the fact that Monica had clearly chosen Andrew to comfort her. Caroline had asked the Irish angel to come with her and stay for a while after everyone has gone, and she had accepted.  
  
As there were still some people in the house, the angel of death thought it would be ok for Monica to had a little time of peace, so he took her to the front yard where he had seen a little bench. He had held her by the shoulders and rested his head over hers that was lying over his own shoulder.  
  
"I don't get it, Andrew", she said in a very low voice.  
  
"What, Monica?", he said tenderly and stop their walking to let her talk. It was the first time she referred to the situation in the last two days.  
  
"What did I do wrong?", she met his gaze with her dark eyes full of the expectation of a six year old that asks for an explanation.  
  
"Monica..."  
  
"Why this had to happen? Why couldn't I get them another chance to be happy?", fresh tears had fallen from her eyes and Andrew felt his heart breaking in a thousand pieces.  
  
"Everything has a reason in God's perfect plan. We don't know yet what it will be...", he said gently brushing her tears with his thumbs.  
  
"But I failed! I failed them!", she cried, pain so evident in her voice that Andrew felt completely defeated.  
  
"No, baby, you didn't", he said holding her tightly.  
  
"Yes, I did! How am I supposed to go to the Father again? I couldn't help Caroline and Jacob. I know He can take good things from painful situations like this, but I feel I spoiled His plan. I'm so ashamed, Andrew, so ashamed with Him, with Caroline, with Tess... with you".  
  
He pulled her away and cupped her face to make her meet his gaze. "Nonsense, Monica. I love you, I told you that".  
  
"I love you too. That's why I know you're disappointed. I don't deserve your love, Andrew".  
  
The angel of death didn't know what hurt him more: her doubts about his love or the pain in her voice and tears. "Don't try to decide for me whether you deserve my love or not", he said joining his forehead with her trembling one, never releasing her face. "I will always love you, no matter what, Monica". Closing his eyes, he continued. "You're the most perfect creature I could ever meet and there's one thing I know for sure...", he pulled apart just for an inch and waited until she opened her eyes and met his. "God made me to love you". None who would've seen his face would ever doubt the sincerity of his words. His green eyes reflected in one second the most incredible love she could ever meet other than the Father's, and that love penetrated every tiny cell of her body. She was speechless, no words to say that may seem appropriate, no will to fight him back when he leaned down and kissed her on the lips.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Andrew felt her responding to his kiss timidly at the beginning and more openly later, and knew he had waited too long for this to happen. Monica lost the conscience of her actions and only felt the pleasant shiver that his lips over hers brought to her body. She cupped his cheek with a trembling hand wanting the moment to be eternal. Her body seemed to react by itself, relaxing under his gentle touch, her lips automatically following his.  
  
Just when he finally stop kissing her, the little angel understood what had just happened. "Monica...", Andrew murmured.  
  
"No!", she said releasing him abruptly. "This is not correct, we're not...", she backpedaled. "I'm sorry", she said and ran away from him.  
  
He stood there, his thoughts in turmoil. He had kissed her, his best friend for such a long time, and it had been perfect, so wonderful perfect... But a little part of his mind still told him she was right: they were angels and they were not supposed to be in love. He sighed, walked to the bench and sat down in defeat. He put his elbows over his knees and bent his head down. "Father, please", he whispered, "help me. I don't know what's happening between us. Let me understand all this so I can help her. I don't want to hurt her, I just want to make her happy".  
  
*****  
  
In her run, Monica lost her way and she didn't know how she ended in a park, watching a calm lake where some swans and ducks were swimming, completely ignorant of the little angel's pain. Normally, she would enjoy the sight of such a calm place, where even the smallest leaf seemed to be in its right place. It would bring peace to her and she would enjoy being there, especially with one other angel: Andrew. She smiled at just remembering him but her heart was still too troubled to cherish to the calm and pleasant feeling that filled it up. Instead she felt ashamed again for what had just happen between them, and fresh tears started to trace their way through her cheeks. She seated down in front of the lake and wrapped her arms around her knees, resting her chin over them, not even daring to talk to the Father. Her sight was lost, looking at the people around the shore of the lake but not paying attention to any in particular.  
  
There were some families just whiling away the warm afternoon, and the laughing of the children were mingled with the occasional songs of the birds. In some other cases, there were couples walking hand in hand, just enjoying the chance to be together. One of those couples made Monica watch at them carefully, and not knowing how she suddenly saw Andrew and herself walking around the lake, looking at a beautiful swan but actually thinking about sharing an unending future full of sweet experiences. She closed her eyes, buried her face on her knees and starting rocking herself. "Andrew", she whispered, "why is all this happening to us? Why can't we just love each other the way we always had?". She stayed in that position for some minutes until angry voices took her out of her thoughts. The couple she had seen so calmly walking was now arguing bitterly and suddenly the young boy turned his back to his girlfriend and walked away. The girl watched him go and then went to take a seat in a low wall that surrounded part of the lakeshore. Her angelic nature made Monica put her own suffering aside and walked towards the girl. "Do you have a real reason to let him go?", the little angel asked tenderly.  
  
"Beg your pardon?", the young girl looked at Monica in surprise.  
  
"My name is Monica. I saw you arguing with your boyfriend and I asked you if there's a real reason for you to let him go", she said taking a seat besides her.  
  
"I'm Vivian", she said, "and I don't know what to do".  
  
"What happened? I saw you two looking so happy and the next moment you were yelling".  
  
"He can't understand my reasons. I've told him a million times I don't want to but..."  
  
"You don't want what?"  
  
"I don't want to marry him. Not yet, I mean". There was something in that Irish woman that made Vivian feel comfortable to trust her. Maybe it was the sweet light that seemed to surround her or the deep sadness in her reddened eyes...  
  
"Well, I can see you're very young".  
  
"I'm 18", Vivian answered.  
  
"But there must be another reason..."  
  
"He's moving. He's going to Germany to study. I don't want to lose him, but something tells me it would be a big mistake to get married just for his fears".  
  
"His fears?", Monica asked.  
  
"Yes. He's afraid that I will not wait for him to come back. I've told him he's wrong, but he doesn't believe me. He thinks that I don't love him that much because his family is not really wealthy and mine is. He thinks he doesn't deserve my love", a clear note of anguish was present in the girl's voice.  
  
The last three words went directly to Monica's heart: that has been her own argument and the one that had been fighting against such a stubbornness had been not Vivian but Andrew. She smiled fully understanding how right the angel of death was: it was not her nor Vivian's boyfriend the one who could decide whether they deserved to be loved or not. "Don't let him go thinking that way, Vivian", the Irish angel offered softly and met the young girl's gaze. "I know how bad it feels to believe that you're not worth enough to be loved as much as you love him or her. I know it's stupid", she recognized before Vivian could talk, "but I also know that sometimes you need to be reminded again and again".  
  
"But I don't want to marry him now".  
  
"Then don't! Just go talk to him! Ask God for help to make him believe you love him for who he is and not for how much money his family has, and I promise the Father will give you the right words". Seeing Vivian's tears starting to fall Monica took her hands and gave them a friendly squeeze. The next words were probably the ones the little angel spoke with the most sensible part of her heart. "If you really love him, don't lose any time you can be together fighting a battle of wills that will not lead you anywhere. To find that person who becomes your better part is a gift, a precious one", she said, trembling voice and freely crying now, "but being allowed to love that person with no restraints is an even more precious gift, it's a miracle, a chance that you must never lose".  
  
Vivian listened to her in silence, clearly understanding what she was saying but also trying to find out the origin of the suffering she could guess in the angel's eyes. She was as convincing as she could only be if she knew first hand what she was talking about.  
  
"Are you in love, Monica?", Vivian finally asked, almost afraid of hurting her.  
  
"Yes", the angel whispered closing her eyes for a moment. Two big tears felt directly over her hands. Monica took a deep breath before she could continue. "But our love is forbidden".  
  
"It can't be!", the girl said, eager to help the woman that had just help her so much. "Why? There must be a way..."  
  
"No", the little angel's timid answer stopped Vivian's speech. "In our case there's no way. We should've never fallen in love".  
  
Vivian understood it was better not to ask for more as it was evidently too painful for Monica to talk about it. She squeezed the angel's hands and looked at her. "I will pray for you, Monica".  
  
The Irish angel smiled in gratitude. "Thank you. I guess that's what I need the most right now".  
  
****  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Tess found Andrew still in the same position, head buried in crisped hands, asking for an advice he was in no spirit to understand. As soon as she saw him, the old supervisor knew something was wrong: Andrew would never leave Monica alone in the state of mind she was those days. Something must had made her run away from him and it must had been something serious, really serious. "Andrew?", her concerned voice made him lift his head and meet her gaze. What Tess could see in his eyes just confirmed everything she was afraid of. "Where is she?".  
  
Andrew sighed, defeat present not only in his voice but in his eyes. "I don't know".  
  
"What you mean you don't know? She was with you", Tess took a seat besides him not only for her comfort but to be sure her legs didn't grow too weak to keep her standing.  
  
"Yes, she was".  
  
"But?", the older angel was becoming exasperated.  
  
"Tess, I...", Andrew stuttered.  
  
"What did you do to her?"  
  
"I kissed her".  
  
"You what?!", she was astonished and somehow a voice inside her was telling she was going to need a good time of thinking.  
  
Andrew rubbed his face desperately; he still had some trouble in accepting what had happened with Monica but especially in reconciling what he had felt with the fact that they were angels. "I kissed her, Tess", he repeated, "and it was so wonderful..."  
  
Even as mad as she was, Tess couldn't miss the sparkle of love in the blond angel's green eyes. "What were you thinking at, Andrew? Have you lost your mind or have you forgotten you're angels? Angels don't fall in love!".  
  
"I don't know what I was thinking about!", he knew he couldn't stay there as frozen just listening to the lecture Tess would give him. He had to defend something he couldn't name yet but it was something he knew was worth fighting for... even if it meant to argue with the angel he respected the most. "I saw her crying, saying she doesn't deserve my love and I just couldn't find the words to tell her how wrong she was. It was something that came from deep inside of me. Don't look at me that way, Tess!", he asked when he saw the accusing gaze in the dark eyes of the angel. "I didn't want to hurt her. I just felt the need to prove her that I love her beyond anything and believe me, I've never been as happy as I was when she kissed me back".  
  
"She kissed you back?", Tess' mind was about to stop working properly.  
  
"Yes", he whispered.  
  
"Oh, Lord, please help me", the older angel murmured. "But where is she now?".  
  
"I don't know", the blond angel answered. "She ran away and I didn't want to follow her. I wouldn't know what to tell her".  
  
"Are you telling me that my angel baby is somewhere out there all by herself, surely confused about all this?". A nod from the angel of death was her only answer. "Well, Mr. Halo, I don't know what to say about this unexpected event", she said remarking the last two words, "but I'm ordering you now to go back to the house and stay with Caroline while I go to look for Monica. We still have an assignment and I can't say it is working properly".  
  
Ok", Andrew let go a sigh of resignation.  
  
"Father", the supervisor prayed walking away from him, "I don't understand what your plan is here but please, give me what I need to help your children as well as your angels 'cause I can't say who needs more help right now".  
  
****  
  
Tess appeared near Monica and saw her since she started to talk to Vivian, and couldn't avoid to be touched by her angel girl's distress. She had listened all she had said and the old supervisor was asking herself if she hadn't been too hard with both angels. She waited a little, clearing away her own tears until she felt sure her voice would not crack. "Monica", she finally whispered coming closer to her. The supervisor was in no way prepared to see such a deep pain in her charge's eyes, so she felt her heart plunging to her stomach when Monica's tears traced their ways through her cheeks. She sat down besides her baby and pulled her closer, rocking her as she had done many times in an attempt to soothe her painful sobs. The desperation that Tess felt coming from the way Monica was clutching her told her more than a thousand words, so she let her cry freely for some minutes until she somewhat calm down.  
  
"Tess, I...", Monica tried to start an explanation.  
  
"Shh, I know, baby", the old supervisor told her never releasing her hold. "Andrew told me what happened".  
  
"Why, Tess? Why is all this happening?"  
  
"I wish I could tell you, baby, but I don't have a clue. I've always known you two have come to share a very special kind of love but I had no idea this could be happening".  
  
"What will the Father say about it?"  
  
"I don't know, sweetheart", the older angel pulled her away to try to regain herself. "I've just been told that you have to go back to Caroline and Jacob's because things are in no way all right around there", she said wiping away Monica's tears.  
  
"Tess, I can't go back",the tone in the younger angel's voice was nothing but a plea. "I can't face Andrew, I wouldn't know what to say or how to look at him. Not after what happened".  
  
"I wish I could tell you other way, Monica, but this is your duty and you have to do this. Caroline and Jacob's future come first, even before your feelings. So, please, baby, go talk to Jacob. It's time", she gave her an encouraging squeeze and stood up to force her to do the same. Her charge looked at her once more before lowering her head and starting to walk away from her supervisor.  
  
****  
  
Monica found Jacob in the cemetery, knelt in front of his child's recently covered grave. He was caressing the grass as if it was his sleeping boy. The angel felt a sudden kind of anger at the man who time after time had refused to even touch his son, but when she was about to speak she heard his timid words. "I'm sorry, Angel. I will not have enough time to regret never coming to know you, my own son. I loved you, baby, and I will always love you. I was so afraid. I wasn't perfect, I'm sorry. I couldn't be perfect for you and I feel I cannot be for your mother either. I wish you were here for I think you would know how to teach me that. You've been a pretty good teacher so far, even if I chose the hard way to learn my lesson... and even if it is too late. I will never see you again, and I will never see your mother either".  
  
The Irish angel had listened to what Jacob said and she had thought he somehow had started to see the truth, but the last part made her seen she was wrong. Tess had clearly told her they couldn't get divorced. "What do you mean with that, Jacob?", she finally dared to ask him, coming to kneel besides, "with not seeing Caroline anymore?"  
  
"She blames me, you know?", his tone was no more the angry one she had known in his voice but one of complete defeat. "And she's right. I wasn't the perfect father and the perfect husband I swear to be", he sighed and seated down on the grass. "She has asked me the divorce".  
  
"But you are not accepting it, aren't you?"  
  
"Monica, what else can I do? I did every single thing I could do to hurt her. How could I ask her to love me after all I did?"  
  
"I'm not asking you to talk for her. What I want you to tell me is if you love her".  
  
"Of course I do !"  
  
"Then fight for her love! Yes, you did terrible mistakes, you hurt her, you lost your son, but as hard as it is to believe it, he had an assignment from God and he did what he had to do".  
  
"From God?"  
  
"Yes, from God. Jacob, I'm an angel", Monica said and the sweet light of the Father's love surrounded her. "He sent me here to tell you that He loves you and He loves Caroline. He doesn't expect you to be perfect, He loves you the way you are now, the way you've always been with your wife".  
  
"Then, why He allowed Angel to die?", Jacob was having trouble to understand Monica's words and put them together with his feelings.  
  
"Angel lived the time he was supposed to live and it was just enough to perform his duty".  
  
"I don't understand you. He was just a baby! What duty could he possibly had?"  
  
"Every person in this world is born with a duty, a special task and is given a lifetime to fulfill it. It's a promise made to God at birth time. Angel's job was to remind his parents of a promise they've made, a promise of loving each other in good times as well as in the hardest one. God rejoices in your love and He wants you to remember that, now and forever. You married Caroline because you loved her; you can't give her up so easily. Real love, Jacob, the purest one is the most important thing a person can get, and the only one that you will keep in the time of your death and in the life after that. Believe me, there's nothing more".  
  
Jacob's eyes were bright with tears. He knew he had been acting badly, but seeing Monica he could feel God's forgiveness and that feeling made him silently promise he would do everything to make Caroline up. "Oh, Father", he pleaded, "please, help me. I love her. I don't want to lose her".  
  
"He will, Jacob", Monica promised. "He will help you. Now, let's go to find her, ok?". She stood up and offered him a hand that the man took willingly.  
  
****  
  
The noise of the opening door hardly made Caroline turn to see who was entering into the house. "Monica?".  
  
"No, it's Andrew", the blond angel answered and walked to take a seat in front of the woman.  
  
"I'm sorry. I thought it was her as I asked her to stay for a while... I'm sorry, I really appreciate you stayed too".  
  
"I know you do", he offered and then remained silent.  
  
"Where is she?"; Caroline asked being aware of something going wrong between them just for the expression in his face.  
  
"I don't know", Andrew answered shaking his head. He saw no point in trying to fix something so obvious for whoever had ever seen him with Monica.  
  
"Did you have a fight?", her concern about the two people that had been so close to her in those days made Caroline forget her own worries for a while.  
  
"Kind of", the angel of death wasn't sure of how much he should talk to Monica's assignment about all this.  
  
"It's hard to believe you two can have an argument. You seem to get along so well I'd never venture something like this. I mean you seem like you've been matched in Heaven", her tone was light and a little playful. "I guess you get on well together since the first moment you meet each other".  
  
Andrew chuckled at her mention of the first time they met, his love for the little angel once more evident in his eyes. "Oh, no, you're wrong! Monica didn't like me a little bit at the beginning. I'd rather say she almost hated me".  
  
"I can't believe it!".  
  
"Well, you better do! I was trying to help her with her job but she thought I was trying to interfere because I didn't believe her capable enough to handle it all by herself. She even told me she wasn't incompetent in her job".  
  
"Monica? No way!".  
  
"Yeah, it's true. It's incredible how things between us have changed since that day", his words were clearly full of his most deep feelings for the angel of truth he longed for have near by forever.  
  
"And what was the fight about?"  
  
Andrew turned to face Caroline and met her eyes for a second. He lowered his head again thinking of a way to talk about what had happened with Monica without interfering in her part of the assignment, but when he was about to speak the noise of the opening door again made them both turn. Caroline instantly met her husband's gaze while Andrew and Monica's spoke in half a second of all the love they felt for each other and how the realization of this hit both angels with all the strength of the truth.  
  
*****  
  
Chapter 7  
  
After some long seconds of silence, Caroline's angry voice filled the room. "What are you doing here, Jacob? I thought I was clear enough when I told you I didn't want you in this house again".  
  
"Caroline, I...", he stuttered trying to find a way to talk to his wife.  
  
"I don't want to hear more excuses, more lies!", she said and stood up.  
  
"Caroline, please, listen to him!"; Monica intervened.  
  
"No! Monica, I thought you were my friend!".  
  
"I am your friend, Caroline!", the Irish angel said coming closer to her. "That's why I want you to listen to your husband".  
  
Jacob's eyes were bright with tears and when he finally spoke, those tears traced his face. "I'm sorry, Caroline. I'm really sorry".  
  
"You're sorry, huh? Now?", the answer of his wife was full of sarcasm. "But you weren't sorry at the hospital when your son was fighting for every minute of his life, for every breath that he could take! You weren't sorry there, you were angry and you were a coward because you left us both there alone! You didn't need us then, well, I don't need you now!".  
  
"How can you say that?"; Monica asked to the angry woman. "He is your husband. You do need him right now. Both of you need to grief for your son so you can carry on together. You love each other, there's none else who you could need more".  
  
"He doesn't love me, Monica. Real love doesn't hurt".  
  
Monica met Andrew's gaze and saw the same pain she felt in her heart reflected in his green eyes, her words speaking a truth they now knew first hand. "Real love can hurt very much. To love somebody so much may be the hardest thing of all, but it's worth enough to do it. It may be your only chance. Please, Caroline, don't waste this chance God's giving you. Listen to him, give him the opportunity to open his heart and then decide what he deserves".  
  
Andrew stood behind the young woman and placed a hand on her shoulder, his expression asking the same than the little angel. "You will not regret it", he promised.  
  
"Car...", Jacob took a deep breath before he started to talk. "I know I hurt you time after time and I want to say that I'm sorry", he buried his hands in his pockets, not really knowing what else to do. "I was scared to death, sweetheart. I didn't know what to do with a sick baby and I didn't know how to be sure that everything would be all right. All the plans that I had done while you were pregnant seemed not good enough, and when everything became so complicated, I just panicked... I wanted to think on something else that may solve everything like magic, but I couldn't. I forgot that the best thing I could've done was to hold you and show you that I love you so much".  
  
His wife had listened to his words in silence, tears running freely through her cheeks. "You hurt me, Jacob", she whispered.  
  
Her expression was all he needed to run to her and held her fiercely. "I know, baby, and I will never do it again, I promise. I have already asked God for forgiveness and now I'm asking you the same".  
  
"I love you", she murmured, her face buried in his chest.  
  
Openly crying now, the man kissed his wife's head repeatedly. "I swear I will remember what I promised you the day we got married. I promised I would be the best husband for you, but now I know that means that the best husband for you is the one that will always show you first how loved you are. There are three people that had taught me that".  
  
Puzzled at his words, Caroline pulled away a little to see his face. "Who?".  
  
"Angel... and Monica and Andrew". They turned to face the angels who were smiling with contentment for a new assignment well accomplished.  
  
"No, Jacob", Monica said. "God taught you that", and opened the door to leave. Andrew followed her, but before the angel of death left, Jacob stopped him.  
  
"Thank you".  
  
Andrew nodded and then he left.  
  
****  
  
When Monica and Andrew left the house, the little angel turned her back to her friend and started to walk as fast as she could, not paying attention to his callings. He almost had to run to reach her, and took her arm to make her face him. "Monica", his voice was clearly pleading.  
  
The Irish angel stopped and closed her eyes before she turned around, her tears falling once again. "Andrew, please".  
  
"Baby, I know this is hard", he cupped her crying face with all the tenderness that was normal in him, "but we have to talk. I need you near, Monica, I don't know how to make it without you". He wiped her tears away and kissed her forehead.  
  
"Andrew, please, you know this is not right. Angels are not supposed to feel what we feel for each other".  
  
"There must be a way", he said more for himself than to convince her, and held her tightly, almost fearing to hurt her. Monica also held him as tight as she could, her hands clinging desperately to his jacket and buried her face in his chest, memorizing his perfume and his warmth. How many times had he held her like this and she had always welcomed that closeness as a refuge where she could find all the peace and the strength she needed? Andrew started to stroke her hair for the first time feeling carefully how it felt like, marveling at the sensation of having his little angel in his arms that —he now realized— felt oddly empty without her. "There must be a way", he repeated closing his eyes to hold back the tears he felt threatening. He pulled her away a little and took her face once again to meet her eyes. "How can you ask me to forget what I feel for you, angel? To have you near is as necessary for me as breathing is. If my life is supposed to keep on going without you, then I don't want it. I don't want an eternal life without you, Monica".  
  
The little angel felt her legs growing weak at his words and at the conviction she could see in his eyes. "Don't say that", she whispered. Placing a trembling hand over his, she closed her eyes concentrating on the delicacy of his palms over her skin.  
  
"It's the truth, angel, my only truth. I love you so much".  
  
She opened her eyes and looked at him once more in silence. After a moment, her hand reached his face and stroked it gently, lovingly brushing his warm cheek. The caress seemed to last an eternity for him, and he was thinking his heart could not beat faster when Monica placed her hand on his neck and pulled him down to kiss him with all the love that was present in her heart. It took him less than a second to react to Monica's kiss and responded her with all the overwhelming feelings that he could not longer control, unconsciously wishing to spend the rest of the eternity just kissing her like this. When they finally parted, the Irish angel's eyes were full of new tears and what she said was not at all what he had expected. "Please, Andrew, leave me alone. Don't look for me anymore because I will not be able to bear it. Only God knows how much this hurts me".  
  
"Monica, I...", he tried to speak but a finger over his lips stopped him.  
  
"Don't say anything, I beg you. You know this should have never happened. It has never happened before". A single tear escaped from the angel's of death eyes and Monica wiped it away with shaking fingers. "I love you, Andrew. With all my heart and with everything on me, I will always love you". He took her hand and kissed her palm as if his entire life depended on it, refusing to release it but at the same time feeling absolutely defeated. "Bye", she whispered and gave two steps back, her hand over her mouth to try to stop her sobs, before turning back and disappearing from his sight.  
  
****  
  
Chapter 8  
  
It has been a week and a half since the last time Monica and Andrew had talked, and it was more than evident that their hearts were full of a big pain.  
  
Tess could clearly see the suffering in her angel baby's eyes though she didn't say a word about it, and the old supervisor couldn't find a way to come to her. Being in love was not right, she had thought, but such a big pain surely wasn't God's plan either. Anyway, Monica had been doing her job as she has always done, speaking the truth and giving all her heart in it. But something was missing, and whoever knew her could say that: she was no more the shining, self secure angel she used to be, easy smiling and joy reflected in her eyes just for the fact that she was delivering a message from God. She continued to put all her efforts in her words and people still came to trust her easily, but instead of joy there was a deep sadness in her eyes, something melancholic that showed up more evidently whenever she talked about love. Tess had been looking at her carefully, and this subtle changes didn't go unnoticed for her. She was sure about the origin, yet she had to be sure about what was right or wrong.  
  
Monica has just finished a new assignment, getting two sisters to speak to each other again after ten years of not doing so, and the little angel and her supervisor were now leaving the house. Monica had a sad smile in her face that didn't change when Tess hugged her. In fact, her arm around the Irish angel's waist seemed to startle her somewhat and she didn't turn to face the dark skinned angel, who decided she would not wait more for her charge to talk. "Ok, Miss Wings, it's enough. Out with it!", she ordered.  
  
"What, Tess?", Monica stopped and stood in front of her supervisor but couldn't stand to look at her eyes, so she bent her head down.  
  
"Don't 'Tess' me, Monica. There's something we have to discuss and you know it".  
  
The little angel knew for sure what she was referring to but didn't feel prepared to talk about it. "Tess, please no", she pleaded, her voice trembling clearly.  
  
"No, baby, it's time for you to talk", the older angel offered softly placing a hand under her chin to make her lift her head and meet her gaze. "I know you're hurting and I don't want to see you like this".  
  
"You know there's no choice".  
  
"Monica..."  
  
"You warned us, Tess, you warned me. It wasn't right, and obviously it wasn't. All I've gotten is pain... not to mention that I lost him". Two huge tears had started to trace their ways through her cheeks, so the little angel turned her head to avoid the older angel's eyes. "I think I'd like some time alone if you don't mind", she said rubbing her left arm with her right hand, her voice almost a whisper.  
  
Tess sighed heavily before she released her, her shoulders dropping in defeat. "Of course, baby, go". She watched her walk away, shivering not because of the weather but because of the suffering she would not stand much longer. A horrible feeling similar to guilt and despair hit the supervisor, who blinked several times to stop the tears and cleared her throat before she looked up at the sky and started to talk. "Father", she began, "I know I should've come to you long ago and I'm sorry for being so proud..."  
  
****  
  
Since he had taken Angel Home, Adam hadn't seen Andrew and knew nothing about what had happened between his partner and Monica, but the moment he saw the blond angel seated over a rock in a park he knew there were no good news. "What's that?", he asked looking into a little sparkling thing Andrew was playing with and taking a seat besides him.  
  
"An earring from Monica", the younger angel had recognized his friend's voice. "I don't exactly remember where she lost the other one. She gave it to me to keep it for her but I forgot to give it back to her". Adam could easily find a big trace of sadness in his tone.  
  
"Things didn't work out fine, huh?".  
  
"We were playing with fire risking to get burned, and we did", he accepted in defeat.  
  
Adam remained silent for some minutes waiting for him to talk, but Andrew didn't say more. "You miss her", the older angel finally stated.  
  
For the first time since they had started to talk, Andrew met his friend's eyes. "It's killing me".  
  
"And what are you going to do?".  
  
Andrew chuckled in scorn, feeling even slightly angry. "Is there anything I can do? Angels don't fall in love, we know that".  
  
"No?", Adam followed his ironical tone. "Then, why did you fall in love?".  
  
"We have free will too, we can make mistakes".  
  
"Are you saying that your love for Monica is a mistake?".  
  
"For God's sake, of course not!! Other than the Father's, my love for her is the purest and most real thing I've ever felt! It just took me one single kiss to know it!". Andrew had stood up and started to pace desperately.  
  
"Then, why are you here mourning alone, when you could be with her?".  
  
"Adam, don't you see it? I can be in love with her like a fool, but it doesn't mean it is all right, or that it is what the Father wants. If he wanted us together, he would send us to work together, and the fact is that I haven't been called to work with her for more than a week now!".  
  
"Maybe you needed this week to think about everything".  
  
"Well, I'm surely been thinking", the green eyed angel said sarcastically.  
  
"Have you talked to Him, directly?".  
  
"I don't even dare, Adam". Andrew recognized humbly, all his previous anger suddenly forgotten. "I disobeyed Him. I refused to perform my duty. I don't know how I keep on being sent to bring people Home".  
  
"Don't you think that it's because you haven't actually disobeyed Him?". The blond angel turned to see him with surprise written all over his face. "Think of it, Andrew. Why did I have to be there too? In fact, you asked me: 'Two angels of death for a little baby?'. Don't you believe He already knew you would not be able to take the baby Home? Angel's job was not only to remind his parents about how strong love must be, but also to make you and Monica finally realize what you feel for each other. Everything has a reason in God's perfect plan, remember, buddy? Even the saddest thing can be turned in something really good".  
  
Andrew shook his head. What his friend was saying was too much for him to accepted it at once. "Are you telling me that He knew...?"  
  
"...what was in your heart?", the older angel completed the sentence for him. "When did you forget that He knows the heart of all His children, angels included?". A smile of relief appeared in the blond angel's face. "He knew you loved her, He had seen this feeling start to grow between you two and He never prevented it. On the contrary, He allowed you to be always together, to work together and help many people on the way, but over all He allowed you to experience love just the way He planned it to be: strong, unconditional, sweet. You didn't disobeyed, Andrew; the Father wanted to prove how much you loved her because you and Monica are the perfect proof for humans of what real love is". Andrew was speechless, his mind spinning, a big truth slapping him. "You don't have to believe me, pal", Adam stood up and clapped his shoulder. "Ask Him. None better to answer all your questions".  
  
The blond angel saw him vanishing before he turned to see Monica's earring once more, the sparkle of the stone remembering him about her eyes. He sighed heavily and then murmured. "Father, you know even better than me what I feel for her. I love her, other than You, more than my life itself. I had never thought of her like this. It just seemed so natural and so right to show her that I loved her, to touch her or to pull her close that I didn't realize my feelings had grown deeper. I know I should've come to You first before we tangled everything up, and I'm sorry. Now I'm asking for your guidance, Father, for I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. Please, let me know for I don't want to hurt her more". He closed his eyes touched by his own words, the most sincere he had spoken to the Father in a long time, and clutched Monica's earring. He remained in silence for some minutes, still praying for advise. Then, a soft smile appeared in his face, even if his eyes were still closed. He had gotten an answer not in words but in a warm feeling that filled his heart up and that he recognized at once: it was just the same sensation he had whenever he took Monica's hands, whenever he held her close, whenever he kissed her... "Thank you, Father", he whispered, and when he opened his eyes he found himself in a beautiful meadow where the sunlight over his face seemed to wash away the rest of the unease he still had in his heart. A little distant figure make him turn and go to her: Monica was there too.  
  
****  
  
Epilogue  
  
Monica had been walking distractedly around the meadow, her thoughts still whirling wildly. She knew the Father would wait patiently until she was ready to go to Him, and maybe that knowledge made her finally look at the sky and open her heart, her tears reflecting again the pain she felt. "Why did you give me a heart if you didn't want me to follow it?", she asked in a loud anguished voice like she had done years ago, in one of her first cases. "Why did you make me meet him and work with him if you didn't want me to fall in love?".  
  
Andrew was already standing behind her and had listened to her words, his heart aching at her obvious pain but at the same time happy to see that she loved him. "Maybe because He wanted us to meet each other and fall in love with one another", he offered, his tone warm and soothing.  
  
At the sound of his voice, the Irish angel turned to him. "Andrew..."  
  
The blond angel took the last steps to her and cupped her face with great tenderness, Monica's hands automatically resting on his waist. "I've been asking the same question all these days, and even before I believe now", he said, his green eyes bright with love. "But the day I kissed you... everything became so clear to me... I love you, Monica", his hand traced delicately the line of her face from her temple to her lips. "I've always done it and I will always do, not only like a friend. I know I need to stay close to you, to hold you and to kiss you without fear, without the feeling of doing something wrong". He pulled her to hold her tightly, sensing every little bit of electricity as he rubbed her back even if he could feel she was still afraid to correspond his touch. "God wouldn't allow this to happen if he wanted it any other way".  
  
Monica rose her head to meet Andrew's gaze. She found so much love and expectation in those green eyes she thought she knew perfectly well that she felt she wouldn't live without him too. "God, why it's so difficult to explain all this?", she said. "I love you too, Andrew. I need you, I want to be with you for the rest of the eternity, but I have doubts... I don't doubt my feelings, I doubt if we can love each other this way".  
  
The angel of death was about to answer when Tess interrupted him. She had appeared near them without being noticed. "Well, you certainly can, angel baby, because you are feeling so!".  
  
"Tess!", Monica exclaimed. The blond angel released her face and took her hands, squeezing them in such an anxious way he was afraid to hurt her.  
  
"Listen to me, you two", their supervisor continued, for the first time not frowning at their love demonstrations. "When I first realized what was happening between you, I was really worried. I myself thought it was forbidden for angels to fall in love. I recognize I needed council to be able to give you some, and I went directly to the Father. Now I know He rejoices in your love because He made love between man and woman for His own pleasure. He has allowed you to share that feeling; it's a great gift and you will enjoy it for as long as you want. It's part of His plan now and it will be in the future; it may not be easy, but I think you'll find it worth enough to do anything to be always together. All you have to do is promise Him you'll keep on being His servants as you've always been, especially in the new cases He may give you. Will you promise that?".  
  
"Yes", Andrew whispered kissing Monica's hands, his eyes shining with happy tears.  
  
"And you, baby?", Tess asked the little angel.  
  
"Of course I promise", she said, her voice full of real joy after more than two weeks.  
  
"Good!", the dark skinned angel exclaimed, "because it was all He wanted to hear". Tess looked at her angel babies and smiled. They were absolutely lost in each other contemplation, their faces crying out the bursting happiness of their hearts. She shook her head knowing she hadn't anything else to say and walked away... She felt so happy to see them smiling again!  
  
The younger angels didn't notice her leaving. All the pain and the fear they had felt had faded away in a minute and their smiles were a silent prayer to thank the Lord for the blessing they had been given. They could have remained lost in the moment forever if Andrew hadn't talked. "You're my everything", he said simply, stroking one of Monica's cheeks with the reverse of his hand.  
  
Her eyes brightened a little bit more if it was possible. "I love you", she murmured, her trembling hand caressing him too, before she wrapped her arms around his neck. He bent down and kissed her, finally doing it with the freedom of the Father's blessing.  
  
THE END  
  
It's very clear, our love is here to stay Not for a year but ever and a day (...) Together we're going a long, long way In time the Rockies may crumble, Gibraltar may tumble. They're only made of clay But our love is here to stay. 


End file.
